he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
