They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
