I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
