I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
