my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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