I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize