ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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