Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
