Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
