My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
