To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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