I bet he comes in French.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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