I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
