I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
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