The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
