im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize