I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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