New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
