I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
