After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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