So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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