So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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