Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
