smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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