I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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