so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
