Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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