I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
