Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
