Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
