WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
