She's JV to your varsity
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she peed on how many people?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
