very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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