Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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