God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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