and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
