Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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