My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize