i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
