Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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