Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize