She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
