he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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