i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
