Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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