Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
