Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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