Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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