i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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