naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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