No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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