absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
