I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize