im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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