i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
