Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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