pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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