Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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