and you said cock pushups were impossible
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
