You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
